Wendy DeCora.com

Overall, this weekend was pretty relaxing and lazy. I took a walk, did some laundry, a bit of cleaning and baking, watched some movies, and went to church. I did one thing that, as one of my friends pointed out, was out of character for me, on Saturday night I went to a speed dating event. (Only he didn’t put it quite so delicately, it was more like, YOU DON’T DATE!)

Yes, me, the perpetually-single, just-fine-as-I-am, me met 9 different guys and talked to them for 7 minutes each. I got invited/roped into the whole thing by my friend Adrienne. She’s my social secretary. She can make anything sound fun. Originally this was to have been last month, but things got changed around and it was put off until this past Saturday, when Adrienne couldn’t make it, of course. I really hadn’t thought much about it one way or another honestly beyond the thought that this could be potentially good blogging material. At least I got that out of my $20.

Saturday morning at 10am, about five minutes after I had gotten up, my phone rang and Susan, the organizer, was on the other end. She wanted to confirm that I was going to show up. She sounded a bit frantic and asked me, “you’re not nervous are you? don’t be nervous!” Then she hung up.

Nervous? Was I supposed to be nervous? I hadn’t thought about it at all and suddenly I was a bit freaked out as to what the heck I was getting myself into that would require me to be nervous. I pretty much forgot about it for most of the rest of the day. Lots of kids were curious about what it was going to be like.

It was being held at my gym in Iowa City. She normally works out of the Quad Cities, but was giving the Iowa City area a whirl. We were to show up at 6:30pm. So of course, I was early and the first one there. Another girl who also knows Adrienne showed so we chatted. More women showed up. (Side note: I realize I am uncomfortable using the word ‘woman’ with people my age and younger because I don’t think of myself in terms of that word. I’m a ‘girl.’) The rest of the females showed up. There was some general disorganization and finally we were given nametags and little tables to sit at. It was in the yoga room, which was totally weird to me since I’ve done workouts in that room. There were supposed to be 10 girls and 10 guys, but there ended up being 11 girls and 9 guys.

The girls didn’t move, we stayed at our tables and the guys switched seats every 7 minutes. We each had a couple of times without any guy to talk to, so we socialized with each other. Everyone had a notebook and pen to take notes and we were told if we were comfortable with someone we could exchange phone numbers on the spot. I found it all just so amusing. I honestly thought I would suck at this because generally, I’m not a big fan of meeting people. I’ve got my people, not necessarily looking for more. I really did this for the sociological experiment aspect of it all. In the end what I learned is that I’m just as chatty with strangers as I am with my friends if I need to be and that 7 minutes isn’t nearly enough time to tell anyone about my trip to New Orleans or my travels to Harry concerts.

I also confirmed that the one thing that I’m hung up on appearance-wise in a guy is his hair. I look at the piece of paper with my notes on it and the comments I have on the guys aren’t about their jobs or their interests, its their hair.

balding…
weird hair….
dark hair…
shaved head…
blonde…

I honestly didn’t realize that’s what I was noting until I got home later that night. What can I say? I like good hair. Or if the hair is going, I respect those who have realize this and have abandoned it completely. Totally bald is fine, but don’t hang on to a lost cause.

I was in the 20’s & 30’s group. I think I was one of the oldest chicks there, but I doubt most people realized that. Talking to the other girls if they would mention age and ask me, I’d make them guess. No one said older than 23 all night. I find that so amusing. The guys ranged from straight out of college at Iowa State (strike one!), to probably early 30’s. One guy who came in late, we’ll call him Game Show Guy, on account of him sharing his name with game show/talk show guy, he was a piece of work. Short, with this weird square head with just odd hair. He was from the Quad Cities but “traveled around the area” selling advertisements for the yellow pages. Drove a mercedes and handed out his business card with his number to every girl in the room. You could smell the desperation. Not attractive. He had nothing interesting to say and was way tooo interested in anything I had to say.

Another guy who was less college-aged looking, was a farmer from an area south of Iowa City. He was interesting in that he also does oil painting as a hobby. We were discussing morells when our time was up and I honestly almost gave him my number just so I could get some mushrooms. Yes, I’m a small-town Iowa girl at heart.

All in all, the guys seemed nice. One poor guy was either a bit slow or just painfully, painfully shy as he could not hold a conversation. All the standard “what do you do? where are you from? what are your hobbies?” questions didn’t elicit much of a response beyond a few words. Here’s where being overly chatty can come in handy. I can listen to myself talk for 7 minutes. A couple of them seemed way too interested in holding direct eye contact the whole time. That’s just not natural. Then there was the guy who complained about his buddies and those who are married whose wives don’t like them to hang out. And why I understand where he’s coming from, it was really weird “I just met you” conversation.

In retrospect, other than the guy who reluctantly revealed that he was a painter, nobody came up with anything overly interesting that made me go “wow, this person is interesting/has a passion for life.” They were all equally interested in that I was going to NYC this coming weekend. I don’t know how to even describe it all without sounding really conceited on my part, but I just felt more interesting than most of those guys, which was actually interesting to me because I often feel like I’m not doing anything of note when people as the standard, “what’s new with you?” I guess I should also say that I realized I cannot feign interest. Maybe all those guys were feigning interest in what I had to say for the sake of the evening, but I just can’t. When someone says they are in yellow pages advertising or likes to “hang out” I just can’t act all excited for them. I don’t begrudge them their lives at all, but not for me.

After the “dates” were over, those of us who were up for it, went to a local bar/grill just down the street for a little less structured socializing. Again, it was interesting in that all the girls sat together and all the guys sat together. Technically, I sat down first and then it just progressed out from there. Some of the girls would get giggly and try to get each other to go mingle down by the guys. I just had my drink and talked to my friend and the guy who was the farmer. Then we switched to a table to try and be able to talk easier and again all the guys sat on one side and the girls on the other.

In a very random twist, one of the other girls was Dr. Welch’s daughter. (For those of you not an HMB alum, he’s the director of bands at the University of Iowa.) We ended up talking and some how she mention Kastens’ name and she got my 15 minute rant on why Kastens sucks. Amusing. Towards the end, it was me talking to 4 guys at the same time. But I didn’t even notice or think of it, because hey, I hang out with guys all the time. I’m not nervous around them. I always think it is so lame when girls are. But none of them were overly interesting to me. No one could talk movies much, they didn’t even talk sports. And even the semi-interesting ones who I might have been interested in seeing again are from the Quad Cities. I’m not going to drive to the Quad Cities to see someone.

I realize that the thing I’m looking for in another person, if I even am looking for someone, is some kind of shared history. All the guys I know, I’ve known for years. It just seems weird and unnatural to get invovled with someone you don’t know. This is why people marry people they meet in college… the shared experiences. That and a sense of humor and none of those guys were funny, at least not intentionally. I’m serious enough on my own. I need to laugh.

So anyway, that was my speed dating experience. I have the list of guys and I’m supposed to let Susan know by Wednesday if there is anyone I’d want her to pass my number along to. Right now I’m thinking no. There is only one guy I found attractive as well as seemingly fun and engaging, but I think he’s probably too attractive and buff for me. The rest of the girls there were all the little skinny college girl types. And that’s not an attempt to get “oh no, you’re pretty” type of compliments from my readers, that’s a simple logical statement that makes sense to my brain.

It was an entertaining way to pass a Saturday evening. I would do it again if the chance came around, just to see what kinds of people are out there. I’d like to meet people from actually in Iowa City.